fingers and toes crossed.

Ok, I know my blogging has been lame as of late but that's because I haven't have much to say. Well, that's not true. I just haven't felt like whining about our broken lives. This has been one of the most intense periods in both of our lives and some days, well... some days are rougher than others. We both have our moments and sadness and frustration are still felt on a daily basis. There are ups and downs. Breakdowns happen, to both of us. At least we're in it together and we have each other.
We've both started working. Yes, you read that correctly. Though it's tempting to look at it as accepting defeat, we have both had to enter the workforce to make ends meet. (ooh, that rhymed!) We hope this is a very temporary thing. I am in my previous element of natural medicine and Nate is profiting on his mad building/designing/creating skills.
It's hard to convey the weight of the situation for us and most folks just don't get it. And that's ok. What it means for us to not have a farm right now, especially when all that is happening in this world points to one thing... GROW YOUR OWN FOOD, is a tough pill to swallow. It does, however, mean trusting fate more than ever before. The universe has led us along this path and we know it does not end here. We wont let it. This is not the end of our story. Many people have suggested that I write a book about our story and you know, I think I will. But not until there is a happy ending to write about.
So, all of that aside, something very good might be happening for us right at this moment. We looked at a farm today for the second time and we loved it even more than the first time. There is still much to be worked out (like where we will get the $$) and I won't say anymore because I'm not about to jinx it so.... Please keep your fingers crossed for us and let's hope this works out. If it does, you'll be hearing a lot more from us.
Deep, deep breaths. Fingers and toes crossed.

life will break you.

There is heavy, heavy stuff going on in this world ever fueling our desire to leave no stone unturned in our quest for a farm.

We had the absolute pleasure of staying with a family on our Midwestern farm tour who truly touched our souls. Without even knowing it, they helped us to see that our dream could someday become a reality and it was an honor spending time with them and visiting their little piece of heaven. One of them shared this with us and I simply cannot stop thinking about it as it rings so very true in my heart.

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that,
and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break
you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk
your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it
happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,
or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and
listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting
their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
~ Louise Erdrich

things are shifting... and in a good way.

Overlooking the Upper Mississippi River

hanging in there...

Still searching for a farm and we're casting as many lines as possible. The right one is out there, we just need to find it. If you know anyone with a farm, I'd be more than happy to send along more information about us.
We finalized the sale of our hens yesterday and I cried a little, but it had to be done. They're happy and that's all that matters, really. Plus, we're allowed to take back our 2 favorite girls when we find a place!

Then we headed to a drum circle in the park where I did a little of this and I felt better.

 We're leaving tomorrow for a road trip to the Midwest. We're off to visit a very special farm and will no doubt return even more inspired.