I sit here on a cold and snowy day, cozy in front of the wood stove,
while my husband and son both sleep peacefully. There's a certain calm
that washes over me when they're both asleep. Like all is right with the
world. Everything is quiet, and I'm left to think about and do the
things I can't do when I have others to worry about and care for. My own
time.
And so I sit here, thinking. . .
It
feels like we've been searching for a farm for forever. Six years, to
be exact. Though that seems a long time, I'm grateful for it. I'm so
glad we didn't buy a farm sooner. During that time we've lived on
several different farms, made many mistakes and had many major
accomplishments. We've learned so much about ourselves, animals, farms
and living and working with other people. Our needs, wishes and desires
for a farm have changed so much over time. And so has the place we call
home.
We've often wondered about searching elsewhere
for a farm. There's the issue of drilling for gas that's been sweeping
the state and that has us concerned for it's effects on our air, soil
and water. But there's something else.
Part of what
drew us in to sustainable farming was that it's a common thread that
brings good people together, like a big family. People working hard for a
cause that's important and true to their hearts. No one knows hard
work, loss and sacrifice like a farmer. And no one knows the joy and
pride in feeding your family the vegetables, meat, milk and eggs you
raised, or in aiding in the birth of an animal, or nursing an animal
back from near death all on your own like a farmer. There's an unspoken
camaraderie among fellow farmers.
But lately, in all
we've seen and experienced, we haven't been feeling that love and
camaraderie. It's there, but not as strong for us right now. Maybe we're
jaded by all we've been through and maybe part of is it us, but we
haven't felt like farmers are loving and helping each other and we often
find ourselves thinking about other farming communities. New York,
Oregon, Vermont, Maine. Perhaps another country? It's exciting
and scary, both at the same time, to think of starting over somewhere
new. There are times we feel we're ready to move on from Pennsylvania,
but there's one thing that anchors us here: our family.
We
both have mothers who live alone and deal with physical challenges, and
we have my father and other family close by as well. It just doesn't
feel like the right time to leave. We've had struggles and celebrated
victories and our family has been there through it all. When farming was
just a dream and we weren't sure we could pull it off, they were there
encouraging us. Each time we've fallen, they've helped us up, brushed us
off, and given us the push we needed to go on. They wouldn't let us
give up. We're so grateful for their love and support. And now we have a
son to share with them. When I was little, we lived far away from my grandparents and I
didn't see them very often. I love that Zander knows his grandparents
and that they know him so well. What a gift.
With
that important decision made, we know it's time to find a place where we
can begin to put all of our love and energy into starting our real
dream. It's taken time and lots and lots of careful searching, but we
may actually be close to buying a farm.We have one in our sights. We've
been this close before and it's fallen through. Fingers and toes
crossed. We need all of the love and light we can get right now.
We just might be able to make this happen.
